Consistency
by kyou fangirl
Summary: Mark and Roger discuss the recent departure and conversion to lesbianism of Maureen, and Roger offers the best advice and consolation he can.


**A/N Okay, so yeah, I was having a talk with a friend of mine and the last few lines are actually exactly what happened, so thank's, Alex, for your… lovely inspiration :) I don't own rent. Or Alex. Or… a blimp… that'd be cool. Anywho, read and review :)**

Consistency

"November 5th, 1989, 9AM, EST. Zoom in on the door through which Roger shall be entering in five… four… three… two…….. one……zero." About five seconds of anticlimactic silence later, the door was roughly shoved open and Roger emerged, his hair messy from having just gotten out of bed. "Close on Roger. He always gets up at nine AM sharp, and heads straight to the kitchen where, today, he will find that we are out of cereal, along with most other edible substances," said Mark, his camera still up to his eye.

"Dammit," muttered Roger, changing his course to the table across the room when he heard this, where he picked up a somewhat over-ripe banana and proceeded to eat that instead.

"Good morning to you, too," said Mark, putting down his camera and pulling his scarf closer around his neck. The weather was getting cold, and their heating situation was not ideal. "I think Benny might've finally got rid of the heating altogether when we were asleep," he said, pondering the possibility of bringing out the old wood burner early this year.

"Nah," said Roger through a mouthful of unusually soft banana. He swallowed. "I bet he's gonna wait until it's _really _cold out. Or thanksgiving or something like that."

"No food. No heat. No friends except us. Barely a roof above our heads…. Thanks a lot," said Mark sarcastically, glancing at the afore-mentioned roof as it let a small, ice-cold droplet of water fall from outside onto his glasses.

"Well, we got Maureen, even if Benny sold out and Collins ditched," said Roger while Mark used the end of his black and white scarf to dry his glasses.

"Nah. We don't," said Mark, aware that the lack of Maureen would need to be explained at some point.

"Wha? What'd I miss?"

"She packed up about an hour ago. You were asleep," said mark, still drying his now completely dry classes distractedly.

"Oh," said Roger, shrugging and taking a seemingly unnecessarily large bite from his quickly vanishing banana.

"Yeah. Something about a lawyer…" Mark trailed off.

"Oh?" asked Roger. "Maureen selling out on us?" he asked, now curious. The last time Maureen had ditched them, she had found herself a clown. Not a ridiculous person. An honest-to-god, real life clown. But that hadn't worked out because he had to leave with the circus. Before that was the—roger strained his memory for anything about that guy—the painter, that was it, who she had met and "modeled for" one night (all night.) Roger was surprised by how random this one seemed, for Maureen at least, mostly in it's lack of randomness.

"No, no," deadpanned Mark. "As she was destroying what dignity I have left and breaking my heart for the fourth time, she was kind enough to ensure me that her lawyer friend was no less bohemian than herself." Roger snorted, knowing that that was something Maureen _would _want to be understood. "Rich, but in no way at all a sellout." Mark sighed.

"So what's his name?" asked Roger, laughing a bit at how very not amused or surprised Mark was at the departure of his somewhat slutty anarchist of a girlfriend.

"Jo…"

"Well that's boring… kind of like 'Mark'—"

"Anne."

"Come again?"

"Joanne." Mark avoided eye contact as he heard Roger as he heard his best friend sit in stunned silence for a few seconds and then collapse into peels of laughter. "Whatever, dude."

Roger fell back onto the couch and clutched their raggedy old pillow to his chest, nearly crushing it in his laughing fit. As he calmed down, he righted himself and wiped a small tear from the corner of his eye, still chuckling. Mark still looked grumpily at his feet. Roger clapped him on the shoulder. "Hah, sorry, man. That _sucks_! She left you for a girl?"

"You know guys named Joanne?"

Roger snorted once more.

"Whatever. I figure it's just a phase. She'll get over it. And then she'll come back, just like always."

"And you'll take her?"

"Of course…" said Mark, trailing off once more when he realized he had given the wrong answer.

"Come on!" laughed Roger. "I love Maureen and all, but I'd sooner go out with Collins than try to maintain a long-term relationship with _her_. I mean, I _hate_ to be captain obvious here, but I'm noticing a pattern and I'm seriously wondering why you put up with her over and over and over and ov-"

Mark opted to ignore the last statement. "I thought you _had_ gone out with Collins…" mused Mark.

"One night, Mark! One _drunken_ night!" exclaimed Roger defensively. "But my point remains. We may be able to count on one hand the time's she's _left_ you for someone, but come on. You know you weren't the only one she was seeing."

"We all have our weak moments-"

"Did you use condoms with her?"

"Yeah…"

"Every time?"

"Yeah…"

"And are you telling me that you weren't the least bit suspicious or upset when she made _you _pay for that abortion last year?"

"I- that- just… shut up, okay."

Roger obliged, but refused to drop his smirk.

Silence ensued.

About thirty seconds later it was broken.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

Roger seemed to put a decent amount of thought into his answer before replying "well at least you're consistent."

Finally, for the first time since 7 that morning, Mark accepted the humor in this crappy situation, and joined Roger in another tremendous laughing fit.

**A/N love it? Hate it? I personally think I did a decent job, but, by all means, share your opinion with me :) XOXOXOXO REVIEW!**


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